Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Alright, so here is the problem. I am a 16-year-old girl and I've been feeling all alone like an idiot. I'm not blaming anyone for this, but isn't it their duty to spend some time and stop being busy all the time? Everybody has their own problem and I know mine is just a simple problem. Who knows that I was depressed and that led me to have some kind of sleeping disorder. I was too hurt to even wake up and spend my time in the reality which kept hurting me, so all I could do was sleep, and because of this, sleeping became my habit. Oh! One more thing, not only sleeping but cutting. Okay, it's not really cutting but hurting myself really has became my bad habit. Whenever I'm not happy, I'll just take something that can hurt me. Anything, really. I became too vulnerable. Nobody really knows about this. Though my brother
once found out the scars on my hand but luckily he forgot about it. You said that I don't wanna help. Hey, I would if I could. But does my help help you? NO! And why the hell do I have to do things I don't like? Whereas, I have to learn by myself how to do things that I like. Do you even care about what I wanna do? You know, I know, everybody knows that I am not talented at all. I can do nothing. NOTHING! I am like the worst in the family. I know nothing and nothing that I do makes all of you proud of me. I realise that you guys think that what I like to do is just a waste of time, but when anyone of you like doing it, it's called a talent. Fine. I don't mind. I do my own stuff. I dream. I cry. I hope. I need. But do you even care? Do they? Well, I do realise that I have no talent in art, I was just wasting my time
doing stuff that I THOUGHT that I was good at. Nothing that I do seems right. I can't do anything. I am good for nothing. Even if there is something I'm good at, I doubt someone will support me. I was alone and I suffered, now, I am not alone but lonely and I suffered even more. Sigh. It seems that there's no use saying all this, because no one cares. No one bothers even if I die.
Listening
I love music. I can't live a day without listening to music. I love hardcore rock, punk and electro rock music.
Reading
What do I read? Mags, comics and novel. My fav book is The Umbrella Academy by Gabriel Ba and Gerard Way. Fav mags would be Kerrang!, Rocksound and AP.
Concerts
NEED TO SEE MCR, SP AND THE BLACKOUT BEFORE I DIE.